Diversity Can Happen, Inclusion is Intentional

In May, Anderson Cooper presented a four part series to discuss the results of a recent study on children and how they view skin color. Go to CNN to watch videos about the study. This series connects so well to Kara Burrell Wright and her concept of Mindhearted because, as this study showed, almost 70 years after the Kenneth and Mamie Clark Doll Study, a significant number of the children who participated in this current study are forming opinions on the "value" of skin color. During interviews with the parents of these children, many of them were shocked to know that their children had shown a bias because they believed they had been raising a color blind child. 

What does this mean?  It means that at any given point, diversity can happen but inclusion is intentional. What do I mean by that? Many times we assume that we are teaching our children certain values and beliefs, but without supporting behavior they can model, children will disregard those words. More importantly, as with any skill, being more open to different cultures, religions, skin tones, sexual orientation or any number of diverse factors takes practice. It is normal to experience fear, rejection or even disgust as an initial reaction to something that is foreign or different. It is how we elevate ourselves to control that response and embrace these differences that matters...and ultimately takes more than a verbal agreement to do so. It takes exposure beyond the surface which makes true inclusion a much more difficult thing to execute.

When we look at what surrounds us at home, in our communities or who we have as close friends you can begin to see how easily we become comfortable engaging only with others like ourselves. And why not? On the surface, they are more likely to have the same values, engage in the same activities, like the same TV shows, eat the same food...there is common ground to connect on that surface level. So you begin to see that stretching your children, and more importantly yourself, by experiencing inclusion in an intentional way is the only way that you will begin chipping away at the idea of "value" linked to skin color or exclusion based on a disability, or fear based on sexual preference or anger based on religious affiliation.

This exercise in stretching ourselves is not exclusive to one group but something that we all must be cognizant of. So I ask, how are you increasing your and your children's' ability to be inclusive?  I welcome your thoughts!

 

La Shana Jackson

Aon Corporation

Director - Diversity & Inclusion

Comments

[Denise Petrucci]

I think the other important factor in this discussion is how we, as parents, deal with the unexpected things that occur in daily life. Here is an example, when my child met my neighbor who has visible disbabilities, such as a prothestic arm...my thoughts went to how will my child handle this. I am happy to say that my child met my neighbor, and spoke to him and later asked me privately why he had a prosthetic arm. I talked with her honestly, letting her know that some people are ok with talking about these things and some people are not. He does not speak about it, it is not our business and we respect his choices, but he is a neighbor like all of our other neighbors. As we have gotten to know our neighbor better, she can see that we can respect his differences, while still know that he is also like us in many other ways, and is a great neighbor and acquaintence. I think we can teach our children a lot about diversity and respect in these situations, as they arise.

[amber]

That quote by Paul Little is so powerful!!! I agree as a mother of three I want my children to have friends of many cultural and except everyone in a non-judgmental manner. After reading this article made me realize how much I don't expose my kids to other cultures. I want to go out and find different cultural things to expose my kids to. In nursing also, the more I know about different cultures the better care I can give my patients. Thank you for the reminder to make that conscience decision!

[Terry Goetz]

I agree..... unfortunately there are so many influences out there that we are unable to control. I think the best we can do is to lead by example and keep the lines of communication open. Hopefully our children will make the right choices based upon what they see in their hearts and not be guided by all the bias opinions in the media.

[LaShana Jackson]

Feel free to post to your blog. Thanks!

[Diversity Training]

Great article. I'm going to pass this along to some of my colleagues at work. We have a blog as well, mind if we link to this?

[Guy Farmer]

Thank you for your insights La Shana. I've found that diversity is often as much about how we structure the environment and what we choose to emphasize. If we only focus on differences then we base our thoughts and actions on that. If, however, we focus on the things we have in common it suggest a whole range of new opportunities to come together. People also enjoy coming together more than living in constant conflict if we set up a work environment that invites them to do so.

[Christina]

My own seven year old got a giggle last night (she doesn't quite understand differences in sexual orientation yet). She is learning to read, and one of my teenage daughter's friends (who is lesbian) came over, and her shirt read "I kiss girls". While I can't yet explain the concept on a micro level, I did tell my little one that her sister's friends likes to date girls rather than boys, and that's OK. It's not weird or strange, it is no different in our eyes than if she dated boys. As well, (I explained) my teeanger's other friend (male) is gay, and he likes boys. That is OK too. I am not quote sure my youngest totally grasped the concept, but it was a start. I hope she grows up to be as open minded and inclusive as my teenager. I further explained an adult friend of mine is lesbian, and she likes to date girls. I am sure this is laying the groundwork for many more discussions!

[Meg]

There's more that goes into this than just parenting. I think it's hard for kids to celebrate differences in certain situations. If they're surrounded by a group at school that doesn't celebrate the difference it's hard to change the group's opinion, even if they disagree with it, and sometimes even harder to break from the group. Toys they play with are designed to certain groups; girls, boys, ethnicities, etc. Only in the past few years have dolls been designed for more than two ethnicities. Even commercials and TV shows exhibit bias.

[JW]

I had always thought of myself as being an unbiased person, who is raising my children to be the same way. As you point out in your blog, many people do not support this with action; myself included. I currently do not expose my children to different cultures, different races, etc. This is mostly because I do not have personal knowledge of these things. Last year my son was in Kindergarten and during December he not only learned about Christmas, but he also learned about Hanukkah and Kwanzaa as well. He would come home and teach me about these different cultures. I thought it was awesome that they were teaching the kids about all of the different holidays for different cultures. It is certainly more than I have ever done. I need to try to make a conscious effort to support cultural diversity not only in words, but in my actions as well

[LaShana Jackson]

I think that the statement by Paul Little dicusses the difference between the Golden Rule and the Platinum Rule. I ask, is it enough to teach children just to tolerate/respect differences? Respect does not necessarily foster inclusion. It might lessen outright disrespect and persecution but it does not help them to really learn anything outside of politeness. Respect can be done from a distance while acceptance is the point at which true inclusion begins.

[Edward]

"It is certainly admirable to teach one to respect differences – that is, to understand that differences exist, and that people have a right to their own views. However, it is something else entirely to push the celebration of those differences, by coercing one to embrace the difference itself as valid." Paul Little